[[Rock it :D*]]
it's the end of the day in an hour's time.
today is kinda a messed up day.
a day to set out my thoughts and get reaedy for next week.
a week pass by too rapidly,
a year will eventually sliped past my fingers
and o's will be over.
i sum up the whole day.
-bad day
-moody
-emo
-cried 1/3 of the day away. [ mainly emoing and watching drama in the evening ]
realised ; learnt ; found
- compromise, why should i? cause that's how's life is. only positive and positive would end up having a postive result.
- Not to take minior things into too much of consideration, there are things way worse than what's happening now. and i'll face it in the future or idk when... -.-
- type out, write out, get whatever is on my mind out on a paper/ wordpad, practically anywhere , and re read the entire thing. If it's really outta something i could handle, find jie or jer, or talk nicely to whoever it may concern.
BUT .. i would still prefer not having to feel so DISTANT where i have to think of all this things.
help me get pass will you? aint that what friends are for?? i guess not bah...
PS/ LALALALA, that's it for today.
ps// wow, it's sure tiring ; MY KNUCKLES HURTS @<&%$#@@KU!!!
She told me something when i said, Jer losing contact with someone close to you is scary ;[... imagine strangers ... ah i'm dieing. Labels: crazy day, Emo, Hilarious, JER's conver, PIL
[ i was really scared okay. hide in blanket -.- not something anyone would imagine me doing ]
jer; cause you're tired. treasure something while you can before you lose it. Some people never done so only till they can never see the person again. abit stupid right? that's humans. 8] go sleep bah.
ANDDDD... tadah i'm alright. it's true i'm tired...
i'm woke up refreshed,
just that i'm so pissed off in the morning because the house is so messy.
woke up bang my head cause mum never put back something she took out.
then walk into toilet step one somee... ' swimming pool drain thingy' and triped.
TOE freaking pain T-T
and the day is longgggg sia.
Somemore got P.E sia.
can't help but feel pissed off.
BUT... guess what?
thrusday is over alreadyyyyyy. =D
and here comes friday in about 50 mins.
S.S is crazyyyyy with shao reminding us of WHAT josephine said last week,
when i ask the same question today.
Shao keep laugh then Josephine gave the 'wahlao' look.
HAHAHA.
oh someone is missing me. i caught 1111 again. ;] just sms-ed viv. she may have decided to sleep instead of do maths -.- whatever.
Now, where was i?
oh, er... after S.s is maths and i went to put back in homeroom 1st.
went to change because recess talk till forget to change into uni.
go back classroom found that entire class went to library instead ..
and 3I was there.
MR Tang like super shocked to see me there lorh.
'' gwyneth , this is my class not your class ''
'' ya i knowww....*desperate* i came to take my bag ;O ''
Yuzhen, wanying, Maomao[ kester ] was there sia.
maomao told me that my bag is still there.
AND 3I MORON THREW MY BAG ON THE FLOOR AND TOOK MY DESK. __
nvmm... then josephine still can there chitchat worhs. ROFL.
Chiong-ed out of classroom cause we're late.
went to library and class had already started.
FUCK lorh. KNN la, jia and nut not leave place for me sia.
nvm, went to take chair and sit diagonally -.-
GUESS WHAT...
somehow.. my SKIRT SPLIT.
wth lorh. X-x
told nutnut and panicked.
THONG stare at me cause i was talking -.-
then end up writing a conver in my book.
and on the account that i was talkinggg and interupting his class,
HE TOLD ME TO GO UP AND WRITE THE ANSWER ON THE WHITEBOARD.
me; '' MR THONGGGGGG.. CAN U CALL SOMEONE ELSEEE * FREAK OUT* ''
and he was like ' you go call someone else' ,
Out of desperation, i ask josephine S.O.S
my table de everyone was like stare at me why dun wan to go up.
Thong was like saying ' see la, talk talk talk dunno answer then dun wan go up'
wth lorh, YOU call me how to go upppp T-T
somemore the questions are like super easy to do.
let him like that scold, very bu shuang sia.
nutnut and suranthi covered me,
and i went out.
my bag very far from them,
and min walked past,
asked me acc me to toilet and change back into P.E -.-
was not the last to enter class.
NUTNUT went looking for me and ended up late for class,
as she say she will acc me to go toilet at 1st,
but i went missing.
SO SORRRRRRY... T-T
DNT was HILARIOUS.
we sat in a circle and think of ideas for shao...
then they take 2 books.
not fun de.
then after awhile,
i went to take one titled '' japnese 'UN'useless inventions ''
SUPER HORRIBLE OKAY.
a mask which can let u smoke 10 cigarettes at one time.
OMGGGGG HORRENDOUS HAHAHHAA.
sorry shao, keep use your word =x
laugh till end of lesson.
IT's the only thing that make me laugh so much this week.
ROFL.
DNT ENDED AT 330.
However, school is not over yet. ' where in the hell is my cca ' i went to 1st floor and found sec 1s and 2s FARMING... or should i say gardening? Wanying's EXTRAAA de neighbour told me that they are in the classroom 2nd floor. Nobody in class except for teachers. MS Teng told me go 3rd floor the com lab find them. Went there and found WINNIE Lim, and was told that they were at 2nd floor. AFTER A LONG TRIP AROUND THE SCHOOL, i finally found them -.- Yuzhen was doing someeee... poster thingy and tadahhh, i went there and finish everything at one go.
PRO right ;DDDD wanted to use photoshop, but didnt. SOMEONE beside us mian xiang use photoshop when she dunno how to. HAHAHAHA. *points and laugh* okay i'm mean. =D
and when school finally ended,
bus-ed home and felt very hungry.
didnt eat lunch what...
ate butter cake, drink 2 cups of milk, SLEEEEEEP.
mum woke me at 9 pm. and i went out to eat dinner
and watch the KOREAN DRAMA mum was watching.
quite nice la, but it's starting to become a tragedy. -.-
at 1030, I went to check homework and found that i had none.
came out to blog about my day.
i kinda leaveeeee some EMO stuffs that i had thought about and i wanna write.
you can also say it's some Points in Life that i've thought of.
forget it, i'll write next time =D
and for now, i shall talk to ariel =D
ps/ I'll get some sleep when i started emoing.
ps// I can't live my life without you. ;]
" Every person you meet in life has the potential to teach you something " - TV mobile. Labels: Daily Tots, Food, PIL
Saw this phrase yesterday on Tv mobile, in the bus. It's very true. i learnt a lot.. from Yuzhen, Regina, Wanying, Ariel, Jer, Huimin... okay somethings from viv too. i'm being kind over here. HAHA.
ARIEL - taught me an infinite amount of things about life.
Yuzhen - 吃东西也是一件很幸福的事。
Regina - Forgive and Forget, study hard and strive for what u want to achieve.
Wanying - the bond between siblings.
JER - treasure and not push your way through things. never take things for granted and more.
VIV - learn not what to do to win others but how to make yourself standout from the crowd.
i only realised that yesterday. that i always start out with after and end up with the before. which means, from good to bad. i must admit, i still can't help but feel the sourness in my heart whenever i think about 'IT'. But at least i'm on the right track now. i try to calm myself down whenever i think about 'IT', and stop myself from hyperventilating. i did that like 2-3 times today. IT'S STUPIDITY. so i must STOP overreacting to flashbacks.
Mr Arasu gave a assembly talk about sense of belonging. and though it about the country, i picked out another point. i finally understand why viv didn't care at all, because it's only precious to me, because i had my memmories there and she will never understand how much it meant to me. THIS is my place, where i belong. and again a question such as " she could at least try" pops up in my head, but i'm dropping the debate between my angel and devil.'IT', had maded me wanna cut myself,
drink and everything that could distract me.
but since i'm in school i couldn't do that you see...
control the urge.
MAYBE some alcohol flavouring sweet would be nice,
to comfort myself ;DDDD
love the taste, woman.
HAHAHA I love saying woman like since forever.
ABOUT today.. stop myself from hyperventilating and breaking down into pieces like 3 times. slacked in class. thought about cure to disappointment but not succeeding in anything. explained R factor to shao.
FEW THINGS THAT MADE ME HAPPY TODAY.
ps/ gotta cut mushroom and do DNT le.
ps// I LOVE ARIEL ZHANG NING AND JERRRRRR. HAHAHAHAHAHHA.
HAPPY KEITHY(COW;BEEFY;NEW)YEAR EVERYONEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Labels: crazy day, Daily Tots, Emo, PIL
on the 25th of jan,
i went out with icy and shao.
kinda x.x
cause was feeling sick sia.
headacheeeeee.
we lunched and walked through china town street.
SAW A LOT OF THINGS I WANNA BUY,
sadly i had no money with meee,
neither do i had any at home. ;[
bought a cute lil piggy,
ICY bought cute badges.
u never want to know what it is ROFL.
I WANT THAT DRUM SET A LOT....
nvm, i'll get it some other time ;]
Surprisingly early,
we spilt our routes at 2pm.
i wanted to go home,
icy meeting friend,
idk what shao is doing.
reached home bathed and went out again. ;[ ate tuan yuan fan (reunion dinner).okay i still owe that SURAIYA homework. haix whatever, i'll do all 4 intro tmr. procastination huh? ;[ tuan yuan fan is stupid. everyyear it had been stupid. i hate going to gran's house. like garbage dump like that.but gran's a nice person. T-T even if we are being utterly disrespectful during granddad funeral, she didnt scold us. deep down inside we all know we are wrong. i dunno if the food are edible or not under such a condition but still i ate out of respect. mum hardly eat anything. just sat there and cook the food. LOL. amazing huh? ;D
when we reached home. i was so sick that i couldnt speak at all. kept coughing and coughing. cleared the table and stick my mini whiteboard somewhere.
mum bought in the cough medi for me, and said she will take it out after she bathe. when i finally cleared my table everythinggggg, and tuck myself into bed she came into room and insisted that i sleep on my tweetybird pillow. only did i realised that she hadddd stuffed an angbao inside. -.- MONEY IS NOT NICE TO DREAM OFF. I HATE MONEY MATTERS ;D but... i didnt sleep on that pillow anyways. ;DDD i've forgotten what i dreamt of, but i remember very well what i dreamt of the previous night. and i want it to go on forever and ever andd well i know i'll wake up. -.-
anywaysssss...
on 26th of jan,
which is today,
woke up to 9 smses,
collected angbaos,
and went to unknown houses.
only a single clean house.
other's no diff from gran's.
i wouldnt bother posting pictures of gran's house ...only like 2 pictures of my cousins, which i dun talk to -.- hadn't got any pics of ting fang inside de. o.o
mum and dad is like always so .... doesnt mean we talk onceee need to likeeeeee be very close friends and talk everytime we meet worhs. me and bro dunno know what to say then never say lorh. THEIR CHILDHOOD IS WAYYYYYYYY OUT OF OUR IMAGINATIONS ;X not that we have weak imaginations, but we dun think thats possible so had put off the idea.
gave mum 60dollars off my angbao money,
and the 30 i took is for the valentine pressie.
with the 20 i took from my wallet off this week's allowence,
i had only 50 to spare.
idk whether it's enough or not.
BUT nvm, YOU GUYSSSSS MUST LOVE IT OKAY.
I DUN CARE. T-T esp viv. or i kill you.
*takes out a chopper*
had steamboat again, on our own, at home. i think im gonna eat sick of steamboat and not hold an outing for steamboat le. maybe a smelly tofu competition would be COOOL. ill be eating steamboat at AUNT'S house tmr. which leaves me no time for DNT. crap, but i chose to use my time to blog. wth. CRAP, suraiya will kick me outa class. nvm i no mood study also, makes no difference. I'VE BEGAN PROCASTINATION. DDDDD;
i'll leave this part to the last.
[[ Been feeling pretty lonely this year,
even though i'm not showing it much.
when i was heading to gran's house with car,
i kinda... teared. ;x
nobody kinda notice
cause everyone knows that i have a flu going on.
i doubt anyone knows the real reason
how i got it.
it wasnt some 'i caught a flu' thing.
i remembered a sentence.
' you chose our division. '
something like that.
i fought back my thoughts.
debated with myself.
and gave up thinking.
it's very true of what ariel had said.
i've nth to say.
close friends.
i doubt i know the meaning of that.
but i think i had a few good friends,
but 'close' ?
not quite match the meaning of it.
i'm just starting to learn things that i had not from pri2 till now.
and for a moment when i walked back to the car,
when we finally decided to go back home...
i kinda felt i needed someone new in my life.
a desire so strong that even dreams portrays images of it.]]
okay, i've make up my mind.
i'll just leave things as it is.
whether we drift apart or what,
it's up to you to control.
just so you know,
i'm a person who...
you couldnt say that feelings faded or whatever shit.
cause to me, it's like... no matter how long never talk, if nth bad happens inbetween, i'm all the same as the last time we met.
this is ME for you.
now that you know me very well, dun ever say u don't know me anymore.
would u still be friends with me??
- to viv.
ps// i know you wouldnt come to my blog anymore. but i just leave things here for u to see, when u come.
" IF there's bestfriends in my dictionary, it would be you guys. "
- your beloved garfield. ;]
i've calculated that,
if i'm going home with
YUZHEN,
WANYING anddddd
REGINA everyday after school,
my life would be shorten by 30%.
can't stop laughing sia.
about the retarded things we do.
craps we talk about.
pratically all stupid things.
well today,
didn't go to wayne's house to take vodka.
was carrying 2 fully packed bags.
one is slingbag - from NYP.
one is my school bag which i carried in front.
then was tired to a point that i went crazy.
wanying; "GARFIELLLLLLD."
wayne; " 有人在叫你啦。"
*RUNS OVERRRR AND FIND yuzhen and wanying.*
bag very heavy what,
then was like " I'M PREGNANTTTTTTTTT. "
*pretends that bag was my stomach*
haha, then walked to busstop with yuzhen and wanying.
wayney, kessy and ahmin gonna wait for daryl bearbear and maybe jiongxun ba.
hop-ed along, lalala.
wanying, * points at regina, who was like 100meters away * "eh regina lehs."
me; " REGINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" *jumps and wave and jump and hop *
and... every action there's an reaction.
- all the lower secondary de students who were around us, TURN TO STARE AT ME. -
OMG. x.x
reached the busstop soon,
anddd huimin walked past us.
when she was like 5 meters away from me,
wanying said " eh huimin leh. "
me, * waves waves, AHMIN ;DDD *
regina; " when did u two become so good de... i thought... "
me, " this is call friendly, unlike you. tsk. "
regina; " i more friendly then u de lorh. sure got people answer me de. "
teo shimin walked past, like ONE METER ONLY from regina.
regina; " SHIMINNNNNNNNN BYEBYEEEEEEEEEE. "
*teoshimin walked past not answering at all *
HAHAHHAHAAAA. 3 of us cannot stop laughing lorh. hahahha.
then she proved herself with another person.
the other 2 replied her,
shermain was like " tsk who lai de ahh, do i know u ?"
then we laughed again.
DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPEN, SOMEONE WHACKK ME.
AND I SCREAAAAAAM. ;X
and run about and chase yuzhen.
reginaaaa used her file and cover her face.
LOL. retarded.
when we finally got onto the bus,
i cooled down.
and told yuzhen that i'm reflecting on my doings just now.
and was so embarassed by myself.
MY LIFE IS WAYYYYYYY SHORTER NOW OKAY.
but who cares, i'm happy. ;D
YAY, VIVIANNNNNNN GOT INTO CHOIR AND THE SECTION SHE WANTS. ;] BUT BUT BUT SHE LIED TO ME. HMPH. EVIL. *disappointed that she didnt reply me sms.* - you may flewwww as high with my emoticon knocking u into the sky.
JIE, dun remember HOWWWWWWWWW LONG we been together le. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. OMGOMGOMG. GND LA. HOW COULD SHE?!?!?!?!?! - puts extra memory chips into the motherboard in ARIEL'S HEAD. *stuffs stuffs, 1000000000GB* with all the information about me, me and MOREEEEE ME. too bad, it's read only and locked. so she cannot delete them. MUHAHHAHAHA
during recess,
wayne keep say my face was blushing.
P.E?? not possible maaaa so long le.
i'm not even panting worhs.
he say must be due to huimin drinking bandong then the colour appear at my face.
WHAT KIND OF REASONING IS THAT??? -.-
he keep poking me sia.
THEN KESTER AND HUIMIN KEEP SAY ME AND HIM ;X
ahhhhhhhhh, suicides.
after school also.
HE SAIDDDDD I DRINK BANDONG then my face looked pink again.
ended up, the whole NYP trip was kana poked by him whenever i stand with my class.
then huimin and kester would tou tou say me and wayneeeee.
THEN WE SUAN BACK. ended arguing all the way.
MONICCCCCCCCA CHENG WAN YING ADDED FUELLLL SIA.
AHHHHH ;X
okay enough about today. jer still make me nervous in class during lesson ;x
hands sweating.
me and regina arguing all over again.
nearly got pulled ear by teacher again ;[
ONCE a wrong decision is made and everything just crumbles after it. i'm throughly done with you. - xAryth
YESTERDAYYYY.
early in the morning went out to meet ICY.
met NOOOBIE for the 1st time.
she was so quiet lorh.
will she couldnt speak chinese, so our convers kinda left her out.
SORRIES T------T
trasher and the others came pretty late.
Lunched at yoshi,
and checked out cold storage.
VODKAAAAAS. ;D
anybody can buy me somemore?
ANYWAYS,
COLD STORAGE SELLS OVERPRICED BARCADY BREEZERS.
DON'T BUY FROM THERE.
it's like 6 dollars at coldstorage,
and 4.50 at NTUC.
SEE THE 1.50 difference??
a lot sia.
we run from one place to another...
just to buy vodkas and sparkling juice.
lame right??
but nevermind. ;DD
BOUGHTTTT OUR FILL.
and went to ICY's house.
trashie went to find her friend. ;]
ICY's house is like M-I-L-L-I-O-N-S of kiloMETERS away from the MRT STATION.
i scared witchy, noobie and SHAO de make up melt sia.
i think because not many have ezlink with them thats why didnt take bus.
BBQ was fun,
very successful.
played poker cards
and drink the vodka and sparkling juice we bought.
catched up on each other and everything. ;D
but when we go buy charcoal,
viv called.
she cried.
heartbreak... to hear her cry.
anyways she will be comming back on the 28th.
I MISSSSSSS YOU TOOs. mismismismismismismis.
i left icy's house at 11:46pm 16mins before my birthday.
i dun wan to go de.
i want to wait countdown de.
THEN MY BROTHER THERE BUGGING ME GO.
say what if i dun go he go back 1st.
OFCOURSE IF HE GO BACK ALONE,
mum sure ask and blame me de right??
wahlao.
then he give me the fuck up face and attitude lorh.
walk his own way.
HE KNOW THAT I CANNOT CONTACT HIM cause his phone no credit.
annoying person.
MAKE ME SO SAD ON MY BDAY.
what shit ma.
anyways over it le.
put that case aside thanks to TRASHIE and JER.
though that chaolao person keep support him.
nvm lorhhhh lalalala.
slept near 4am in the morning.
was CRAPING WITH JIAMIN, BULLYING JER.
TODAY
woke at 7am.
go reply jermain cause i fell asleep.
FELT AS MY BODY WAS HARDEN OVER NIGHT.
go disturb TRASHIE early in the morninggggggg. ;DDD
spam spam spam till like 10am before i started going to bathe and everything.
we are meeting at like 1030am
lol. i was freaking late.
SORRIES TRASHIE I ALWAYS LATE.
she waited for me at guardian while eating seaweed.
we were both very hungry,
so breaunch-ed before going to shop.
SHOP FOR LIKEEEEEEE 2 HOURS PLUS didnt find anything.
OH OH WE SAWWWWW WITCH AT BUGISSS.
she was like '' GIVE YOUUUU XMAS KISS''
ytd give de is '' BIRTHDAY KISS''
L-O-L-ED.
TRASHIIIIIIE BOUGHT ME A RINGGG!!!!!
lol ofcourse, i choose de then she just buy for present sake la.
okay whatever,
couldnt find any present then,
in the end i went to buy 2 box of choco then was 1/2 hour late again.
BRA WENT MISSINGGGGGGG!!!!! BRYAN LA. think till where huh???
finally came.
went vivo.
slacked.
didnt watch movie.
i want to watch - bed time stories.
miss jer telling me story.
though like 2 times only.
LOL.
okay, must forget such stuffs.
fan zheng ... ... you know what. ;x
eat subway 6 incher.
home-ed soon.
eat steamboat with mum.
watch lil nonya
and sing bday song
and eaet CAKES.
omg i told trasher i eat till morning since i so happy.
but i eat 3 pieces want to puke le.
i have 3 cakes this year.
one from aunt.
one from MUMMMM, she buy from polarrrrr - WOAHHHH-
LAST BUT NOT LEAST.
- WIPE TEARS -
FROM VERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
she bakeeeeee one for me siaaa.
IT'S LIKE OMGGG, IM SO TOUCHED TOUCHED TOUCHED.
CRIES....
happy, hyper, jump jump, run about, bang into wall.
everytime someone precious to me de bday, i want to bake cake
GUESS WHAT, STUPID OVEN DUN WORK.
must make papa repair everything. ;[
I'm GONNA LOVEEEEEE YOU, VERRRRRRR. LOL jking. ;D
anyways...
WAYNE SAY HE GONNA GIVE ME 40 PERCENT DE VODKAAAA.
THOUGH LIKE 1/4 drank.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. happy. FLOATS.
i very exhausted right now....
dieing...
GONNA POST LIAO.
wait ...
wait...
a fewmore enters and craps.
.. I MISS VIVIAN YUEN XIAO TONGGGGG.
AND I'VE DECIDED TO CALL HER XIAOTONG MAKE HER PISSED. hahahhaha
SARANG HAEEEEEEE EVERYONE.
thanks ah jer and qi go out with me today.
thought that you wouldnt but you did anyways.
that was enough. ;D
TRASHIEEEEEE I LOVEEEEEE YOU. ;D
the ring rules kays.
WAYNEY I WANT VODKAAA.
i hope i dun die
VERRR, SERIOUSLY YOU ROCK MY SOCKS.
though they kinda in washing machine now.
BRO ATE THE WHOLE CAKE.
next time bake me somemore.
i'll make you something niceeeee for you bday.
who knows when must tell me!!!
PS/ TODAY IS CRAZY
Labels: Daily Tots, Emo, PIL
So.. i asked vivian
"viv, where do i stand? 'cause currently i feel that i like treading on water trying very hard not to drown in it."
& she couldn't give me an answer with a straight meaning to it.
honestly, i was feeling very sad about it.
But i thought it through,
& i realised that almost everyone is the same.
& blame it on the word have that much meaning to it. HMPH!!!
AN ADDITIONAL POINT TO POINT OUT ABOUT "LOVE"
Love is a feeling of missing someone, wanting to be with that person so on and so fro, even if u had a big quarrel or anything of such.
it's like it doesn't matter if both of u quarrel or fight or anything, because after that incident, you will be missing that person even if u didnt talk for months, days or even years.
that feeling just dun change, even if someone reminded you of the person u used to love, still you would want to meeet him holding even a lil bit of that feeling u once had.
That Feeling only weaken due to time but it will never be entirly gone (unless you really hate that person to the core because he did something so wrong to u, & the mention of the person name will make u wan to murder him.)
for example, a MAN abusing his wife. not many people will stand that circumstances & will immeadiatly file for divorce ( obviously a era like now ) but that wife loves her husband and decided to endure with it.
& IF UR THINKING IM SAYING THE GUY IS RIGHT, NO HE'S NOT. that guy obviously making use of his wife, so on and so fro. no, he doesn't love her. because as compared to the quarreling couple, both of them love each other and think for the other's feeling after the quarrel or wan to make up for it. BUTTTT ABUSEEE ... IS OBVIOUSLY constantly.
SO.. see the difference now?
i realised that LOVE, is just like that.
because there will be a lot of people entering and leaving ur life,
making your heart skip following by crushes so on and so fro,
during ur entire lifespan.
NOT very often that there's 2 people who can last long enough together the whole life,
which is why Divorce's Agency is making so much money now,
& ROM is getting very busy with fussy people who can't make up their mind.
p.s/ MY HEART WILL NOT CHANGE EVEN IF TIME IS iNFiNiTY, 'cause in that lil pumping thing lives a YOU that only i know, whom i love dearly.
